You thought they left for more money. They didn’t.

They left because they didn’t believe in you anymore.

They left because:

• The roadmap made no sense
• The loudest person always won
• They got no feedback
• They fixed things quietly, and no one noticed

Myth: It’s about money

Sure, comp matters.

But they leave when:

• They feel stagnant
• They feel ignored
• They don’t see a future

Engineers don’t rage-quit. They disengage quietly. 

That’s worse.

Signals you missed

• Passive comments
• Late delivery
• “Sure” in Slack
• Silence in retros

They were gone long before they resigned.

What they actually want

• Clear vision
• Feedback loops
• Ownership and trust
• Growth without needing to manage
• Recognition that isn’t performative
  

And above all, they want purpose. Not a slide deck. Not a hoodie. Purpose.

Most perks are theater

Catered lunch doesn’t fix broken culture. Ping-pong doesn’t replace mentorship.

You offer:

• A stocked fridge
• Weekly yoga
• “Summer Fridays”

But if you don’t offer trust, autonomy, and direction? None of it matters.

Engineers don’t leave because you ran out of La Croix. They leave because you ran out of vision.

Fix the system, not the snack bar.

What makes engineers stay

• Real autonomy
• Mentorship from people they respect
• A path forward
• A roadmap that makes sense
• A boss who actually listens

Retention is built in the small moments

Think they quit because of one bad all-hands? One bad project?

Nah.

It was:

• Being left out of planning meetings
• Shipping something big and getting silence
• Watching the worst teammate get promoted
• Realizing the roadmap was bullshit
• Fixing things quietly and never being thanked

These aren’t moments. They’re messages. And those messages add up.

How to turn things around (before it’s too late)

Want to keep your team?

Start by doing these five things today:

1. Send a DM to someone who’s crushing it. Say thank you. Not performative. Just human.
2. Re-explain the roadmap in English. Tie it to outcomes. Cut the jargon. Show the “why.”
3. Audit your 1:1s. Are you talking to them or with them?
4. Promote a tech lead who’s been mentoring quietly for months. Not the loudest person. The most impactful one.
5. Ask them what’s broken. Then fix something. Even one thing. Fast.

You don’t fix retention with a tool. You fix it by giving a damn.

Culture that doesn’t suck

Here’s what engineers say when they love where they work:

“I feel trusted.”
“I know where I’m going.”
“People care about the work here.”
“I don’t need to be loud to be recognized.”
“We ship.”

Notice what’s missing? No one says, “I stay because we have kombucha.”

Culture is what happens when no one’s watching. Build that right, and retention takes care of itself.

Final word

They didn’t leave for $10K more.They left because you weren’t in the room anymore. Lead with clarity. Stay in the game.
Or lose the people who keep the lights on.